_ There is so much emphasis on self-esteem in the classroom these days that many students are walking away feeling arrogant and entitled rather than humble and self-confident. It is important to keep a balance. Students have to realize that while each of them is special, the world does not revolve around a single person! Their self-esteem should be healthy enough to understand and accept this. Teachers (and of course parents) can go overboard with trying to build self-esteem through validation.
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_ The fact is that every one of us possesses weaknesses as well as strengths. We all have a side that is as dark as our light side is blinding! We are all capable of behavior that defies the imagination until a given situation arises. And we all possess a free will, the use of which is a telltale sign of our character.
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_ Perhaps one of the oddest fairy tales about Black people in the U.S. is that they largely “sold themselves into slavery.” Somehow, some teachers of all cultural groups are trained to believe that the “African kinds” sold their own people into slavery so that the kings could become rich. While it is true that in some regions African kings and queens were complicit during the enslavement period, the overwhelming majority of Africans were tricked and many were kidnapped and/or threatened into becoming chattel slaves throughout the Americas. What is most important, however, is that even those Africans who were complicit may not have had a way of knowing that their people would be exported and become chattel slaves.

No slavery is good slavery, but chattel slavery (such as U.S. slavery), where a person becomes the sole property of another person and has absolutely no rights, no voice, and their very body belongs to the master and his wife, was unheard of in Africa…There is an enormous difference between historical internal servitude and chattel slavery, which completely knocked the Africans off cultural balance. These two forms of slavery should not be discussed as if they were the same or even related.

 

Think about the Holocaust. Consider the magnitude of Hitler’s killings and his reach. There were certainly Jews who helped Hitler capture and kill other Jews (some authors even controversially point to the possibility of Jewish financing of Hitler’s campaign…). While a few Jewish people may have been complicit in the killing of six million people, no one says or believes that “the Jews” killed themselves; instead we all realize that Hitler was the culprit. In that same way a few Africans were complicit, but they were neither the culprits nor the beneficiaries of chattel slavery. No longer should anyone who teaches or reaches a Black child believe that s/he is in the U.S. because his/her own people were practicing slavery themselves and/or that Africans “sold themselves” into slavery.

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_ Like anything else, truly loving self takes practice, patience, and a positive attitude. To be effective, we must teach the whole person as whole people, not just experts in certain subjects. As educators, we should learn as much as we teach, if we’re doing our jobs right, which is what makes this book so important! Teach it to learn it. It will take practice, more for some of us (myself included!) than others, but once learned…well, you will come as close to the perfection of You as possible. Peace, self-confidence and goodwill can be yours.
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_ Perhaps one of the oddest fairy tales about Black people in the U.S. is that they largely “sold themselves into slavery.” Somehow, some teachers of all cultural groups are trained to believe that the “African kinds” sold their own people into slavery so that the kings could become rich. While it is true that in some regions African kings and queens were complicit during the enslavement period, the overwhelming majority of Africans were tricked and many were kidnapped and/or threatened into becoming chattel slaves throughout the Americas. What is most important, however, is that even those Africans who were complicit may not have had a way of knowing that their people would be exported and become chattel slaves.

 

No slavery is good slavery, but chattel slavery (such as U.S. slavery), where a person becomes the sole property of another person and has absolutely no rights, no voice, and their very body belongs to the master and his wife, was unheard of in Africa…There is an enormous difference between historical internal servitude and chattel slavery, which completely knocked the Africans off cultural balance. These two forms of slavery should not be discussed as if they were the same or even related.

 

Think about the Holocaust. Consider the magnitude of Hitler’s killings and his reach. There were certainly Jews who helped Hitler capture and kill other Jews (some authors even controversially point to the possibility of Jewish financing of Hitler’s campaign…). While a few Jewish people may have been complicit in the killing of six million people, no one says or believes that “the Jews” killed themselves; instead we all realize that Hitler was the culprit. In that same way a few Africans were complicit, but they were neither the culprits nor the beneficiaries of chattel slavery. No longer should anyone who teaches or reaches a Black child believe that s/he is in the U.S. because his/her own people were practicing slavery themselves and/or that Africans “sold themselves” into slavery.

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Of the numerous presentations and workshops that I have conducted on diversity, I received one negative comment from a White teacher. (I was not always privileged to receive written feedback, so in all fairness there could have been others from similar workshops who shared her frustration and I was not told about it, but I can honestly say that I never got that feeling from other participants. I always try to monitor my audience so that I might address any perception of the anger or frustration that can accompany discussions of race. I did notice her irritation and tried to address it, but she stopped “hearing” me). Her feedback accused me of favoring people of color and of putting down Whites. She wrote that she never stereotyped people, adding that one of her best friends was Black. She emphatically stated that African Americans actually sold their people to the White settlers, so how could I be so judgmental of White people?! (See page 49 regarding this “fact.”) She missed the points I tried to make and chose to hear whatever I said that seemed to support her outrage. Had she listened to what I said without filters, I am confident that she would not have walked away with such derision.

 

If you allow these feelings to fester, you will defeat the purpose of this book and your purpose in purchasing it. Worse, you will become distracted and miss the message: that all of our ancestors paid a price to be American citizens; that they have all committed horrendous acts against each other; and that exploring history can discourage us from repeating it. Learn and understand what happened from other perspectives, so you may move forward informed. Guilt and victimhood are counterproductive, especially for educators. You’re better than that. You have to be, because your job is to influence minds!

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_ I provide historical references to give you as many perspectives as I can so that you may cultivate empathy. If you can understand where your students (and you) are coming from, you are better equipped to interact with them. Some of the history I provide here is difficult to absorb, and some of it may make you angry, or feel defensive.
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_ In the end, it is about “me.” Most choices we make are about “me” and what I get out of them. The purpose of this book and this chapter is twofold: (1) to help you to look out for you in a positive, productive way, where you will do no harm to yourself or anyone else; and (2) to help you develop a healthy self-esteem that cultivates responsibility, accountability, empathy, tolerance, and a strong sense of community; to make connections.
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_ Remedies: How do we find a common ground and take charge of our self-esteem?

 Realize that parents and children are human and humans make mistakes; then forgive and let it go.

Try to understand where the other is coming from, and failing that, accept differences and love and respect one another anyway!

 Talk and LISTEN!

Try treating family members with the courtesy and regard we tend to extend to strangers!

And most important, accept that we cannot control others; not the way they view things, not the way they feel, not what they believe. But we can control the way we react and the levels we allow disagreements to fester and escalate.
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_ All ethnic groups appear to face three challenges. They struggle with (1) complex concepts of ethnicity and diversity, (2) preservation of their respective traditions, cultures, and languages, and (3) identity and acceptance.
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