_ Remedies: How do we find a common ground and take charge of our self-esteem?

 Realize that parents and children are human and humans make mistakes; then forgive and let it go.

Try to understand where the other is coming from, and failing that, accept differences and love and respect one another anyway!

 Talk and LISTEN!

Try treating family members with the courtesy and regard we tend to extend to strangers!

And most important, accept that we cannot control others; not the way they view things, not the way they feel, not what they believe. But we can control the way we react and the levels we allow disagreements to fester and escalate.
Add Comment
 
 
_ All ethnic groups appear to face three challenges. They struggle with (1) complex concepts of ethnicity and diversity, (2) preservation of their respective traditions, cultures, and languages, and (3) identity and acceptance.
Add Comment
 
 
_ Self-esteem and identity are inextricably connected. Paradoxically, we want to be like everyone else yet we long to feel special and unique. Our needs and tendencies vary yet at the core they are the same. Some of us rebel against the “norm” and adorn ourselves to make that statement (ex. goths). Interestingly, in the process of setting themselves apart, these people oftentimes end up forming groups; a construct that they rebelled against in the first place! They are either searching for or in the process of cultivating an identity. Group identity is vital to satisfy the human need to belong and appears to foster pride and solidarity.
Add Comment
 
 
_Articulate high expectation levels. A confident student is a productive student. I began my school year announcing that every student had an “A.” There was always at least one student in the class who would utter in shock, “Wow! I never had an A in English in my life!” I proceeded to tell them that the trick was, they had to KEEP the A and to do that, they must complete all assignments and pass their tests. Most of my students never let their grade drop below a B.
Add Comment
 
 
_ The concept of diversity inevitably calls to mind controversial subjects of race and differences. Some of what you read will be difficult to comprehend or acknowledge; some of it will make you angry, defensive, and/or feel guilty. This is okay as long as you keep the information in context, so you are better equipped to interact with other beings. Understand that the material contained herein is the result of extensive research as well as personal experience. Please read through with an open mind—especially chapters one thru seven—and note the balance that I try to provide, so you may reap maximum benefits from this book.
Add Comment
 
 
_At the risk of alienating you, statistics are too dismal against African Americans compared with any other race, to not include more history and additional tips on their behalf—not to encourage any type of favoritism or entitlement toward these students, but to promote awareness and attention as to the accuracy and thoroughness of what we’re teaching. A gross imbalance persists, and it is our job as educators to shift the scales as much as possible. The only way to do this is be informed. Remember the major difference between African Americans and all other mono- ethnicities is a severe lack of identity, which discourages any kind of unity.

As you will learn, a sense of identity is crucial to developing healthy self-esteem, which is affected by others’ perceptions of us, a sense of purpose, a positive attitude, role models to whom we may relate, education, and validation of our existence, which fosters a sense of belonging—all of which were deliberately withheld from African Americans.  Their identity was purposely cultivated by slave owners (and slave mothers, to keep their sons alive) as being less than human and deserving of nothing. They were no more than pieces of property. Their African lives are deceptively portrayed as savage and disloyal.
Add Comment
 
 
_ I cannot say this enough: YOU set the tone in your classroom. Your rule of respect must be enforced consistently. Derogatory remarks against any group (girls, gays, races, physical handicaps, etc.), even or especially remarks that are borderline and/or supposedly made in fun, must be discouraged immediately. You could explain to students that you never know who you may be offending. A slight may not be about who’s in the room, but who is not. It could come too close to home—literally. A student or other person in the room may take offense on behalf of a relative or loved one. Nothing good ever comes from putting others down. Your goal is to cultivate and sustain a pleasant, encouraging, safe, comfortable, motivating learning environment.
Add Comment
 
 
_ Competition seems to be at the root of human interactions and is as pervasive among family members as it is among races. There is also a hierarchy in and among these groups. Older siblings tend to “rule,” the youngest are often coddled, and the middle children are left to fend for themselves—they tend to have something to prove. Racially, American society has been so systematically conditioned to “Black inferiority” that many Blacks continue to internalize the slight and are understandably and rightfully resentful of such status.
Research for my doctoral study on leading diversity yielded that Africa Americans have been identified as the most excluded from wealth and power in the United States.[i] In the racial hierarchy of social status, Blacks are consistently at the bottom. Negative stereotyping and dismal conclusions drawn in the literature prevail.
The issues are no longer Black and White. The atrocities that we humans of all colors have historically inflicted upon one another are disheartening at best. The reasoning is even worse: competition—an endless battle for power and control.
The field of education is notorious for instilling a spirit of competition. We must be careful how such competition is constructed and ensure that the boundaries are clear. Competition is a very ripe breeding ground for stereotyping.
Tip: Always have high expectations of your students and encourage them to compete with themselves, not one another! Set them up for success so they are motivated to proceed. Remember: YOU set the tone, and consistency is crucial. [i] Satcher, D. (2001, July-August). US surgeon general releases report on mental health: culture, race, and ethnicity. Retrieved December 12, 2002, from www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/home.html

Add Comment
 
 
___ In education, this is very important. The last thing you want to do is to make a group feel alienated. Your school administrator will set the tone here. I think, instead of having a Black History month, or a Hispanic month, or whatever, the school or the teacher should dedicate a wall where influential leaders (a picture with a brief bio) from every nationality imaginable are displayed year-round! (NOTE: It is not necessary to “label” them by race or nationality, but it won’t hurt; especially if you indicate those that are mixed race. The goal is to provide role models with a focus on accomplishment, while giving students at least one person to whom they may relate.)  Students should be encouraged to submit leaders not posted to be considered as additions to the wall. These leaders should have made significant contributions to American society or humankind in general.
Add Comment